Thursday, March 11, 2021

The beginning of COVID

It was the week of March 9, 2020. COVID-19 was just starting to heat up. We really didn't know very much about it, still, and there was no national or even local attempt at a unified response to "flattening the curve". That was still a few days away. The sports world was still holding events (NBA, NHL, MLB spring training, MLS, NCAA tournaments), but there were new guidelines coming out about fans getting close to the athletes, the media getting close to the athletes, and in a few local jurisdictions, fans simply not being allowed to attend.

I was scheduled to fly from New Jersey to Florida on March 12 for some sunshine and baseball (and also a little hockey). Even with everything building up that week, I was determined to go. I needed the break from work. This was a long-time ritual to head down to Spring Training. I couldn't fathom not going and I still didn't comprehend why I shouldn't go. It was in my head that something could happen or things could get bad while I was there. I considered bringing my work phone with me in order to stay in touch in case I got stuck in Florida. I ended up packing my work laptop instead, so that I could work from Florida in case I couldn't leave to return home as scheduled. Nothing in those two last sentences convinced me to cancel my trip. Every night after work I was searching stores for travel-sized hand sanitizer and a small package of Lysol (or comparable) wipes, both with no luck. The closest I got was finding containers to take a portion of my home-sized supplies of each with me.

Even when I arrived home from that errand, with suitcase and carry-on bags packed in my living room just waiting for a few last-minute items to be added, I was still determined to go, do whatever I could while I was in Florida, accepting some amount of risk (with pretty much no protection). I started reading my Facebook newsfeed, as I often would do after arriving home from work, and a friend had shared an article about the risks or dangers of COVID and what we needed to do to protect ourselves and everyone else from it. It wasn't from the "mainstream" media (Washington Post, NY Times, CBS News, CNN, etc.). I think it was from The Atlantic, or one of the publications like that. I read it and it finally hit home that the risk of going wasn't worth the enjoyment and relaxation I would get from going (based on what events were still planned at the time). That evening, the President finally addressed the nation (which at that point didn't change my mind at all, since I was already 90% sure I was cancelling), and the NBA announced its first positive case and subsequently cancelled a game on short notice.

Once sports had COVID cases and protective shutdowns, somehow, it became real. That got the last 10% of me convinced to stay home. I also knew that once one league stopped play, the other leagues would follow within about 24 hours (I think all but one hit that 24 hour mark, and the last one was just after it), which meant there would be nothing to see on my vacation. I communicated my decision that night to a few people that I staying home, and I just sat stoic on my couch, almost curled up, and in a state of shock about all of this - both COVID in general and also not travelling the next day. I started cancelling my different travel arrangements (4 hotels, 2 flights, 1 car, various tickets, and different plans), mostly the ones I needed to do that were time-sensitive for that night. I eventually moved to bed, to try to figure out the rest in the morning (since I now had no place to be - not the airport and not work).

Thursday was more of the same. There were still a few games that hadn't been cancelled yet, and there was news. I mostly looked for distractions (binge watching a show on a streaming device, and then watching a channel which plays old game shows 24 hours a day; basically anything but a news cycle). I also had to go food shopping, since I purposely leave myself with little perishable food when I'm going away for 12 days. The one thing I had figured out was that not only did I need food, and takeout may not be a safe option (at least not right away), but I needed to try to build up a supply of food in case I was quarantined at home or got sick and couldn't go out to buy food. I still needed my vacation time away from work, even if it was planned at home now. I had a few home projects that I wanted to start working on for which I needed some supplies, and thought to jump on it before stores would shut down (or even before I realized how unsafe it would be to go to those stores). My suitcase sat in the living room for a couple days, somewhat in defiance of staying home.

That was a year ago. Then came a few months of "flattening the curve", staying home, staying away from others, staying outdoors when you couldn't do that, and within a few weeks, wearing masks.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

New Fake Olympic Events

My latest list of #FakeOlympicEvents, compiled from my tweets during the 2018 Winter Olympics.
  1. Floor Hockey
  2. Curling Karaoke (https://twitter.com/NBCOlympics/status/967337582953746432)
  3. Winter Pentathlon - Skiing, Snowboarding, Figure Skating, Cross Country, and Speed Skating (https://twitter.com/Olympics/status/967335951948177408)
  4. Olympic Ring Toss
  5. Polar Bear Wrestling
  6. co-ed naked Bobsled
  7. Figure 8 Speed Skating
  8. Figure 8 Short Track Speed Skating
  9. Ski flying (https://twitter.com/Olympics/status/966506422618882048)
  10. Synchronized Skiing
  11. Synchronized Snowboarding: Big Air
  12. Sled Dog Racing
  13. Zamboni Races
  14. Go Kart Racing
  15. Synchronized Speed Skating
  16. hockey shootout with curling sweepers
  17. Downhill walkie talkie chasing (https://www.nbcolympics.com/video/race-officials-chase-walkie-talkie-down-mountain)
  18. Luge Cat (https://www.facebook.com/nbcolympics/videos/10157419992180329/)
  19. knock hockey
  20. football field-sized hockey
  21. Snow volleyball
  22. Ski Jumping Pairs (competing skiers need to jump together)
  23. Glacier Climbing
  24. Sledding
  25. Pond Hockey
  26. Ski Lift Jumping
  27. Ice Road Trucking
  28. EA Sports NHL '94
  29. Speed Skating Hurdles
  30. Ice World Javelin
  31. Shut up Pierre #NHLonNBC
  32. Miniature curling (curling with windmills and obstacles)
  33. Tag team skiing
  34. tag team luge (it's real, called "relay")
  35. Cross Country Speed Skating
  36. Street Luge
  37. Full Contact Biathlon

Sunday, August 21, 2016

More FakeOlympicEvents

From the 2016 Summer Olympics

#FakeOlympicEvents
  1. Flaming Bow Archery (tie in - lighting the Olympic flame with a lighted bow & arrow)
  2. Competitive eating
  3. Foosball
  4. Water Rugby
  5. Fucking (They do it in the Olympic village anyway)
  6. some sort of parade-based event for the Opening Ceremony & ceremonious 1st medal
  7. Olympic Torch races (Opening Ceremony) - first one to ignite the flame/stadium wins Gold
  8. Skydiving
  9. Stair climbing
  10. mountain climbing
  11. indoor mountain climbing
  12. battle of the network stars
  13. Figure 8 Track
  14. Frisbee Toss
  15. Ultimate Frisbee
  16. WWE
  17. Pool Vault
  18. Bowling
  19. Candlepin Bowling
  20. Raquetball
  21. Squash
  22. Paddle boat racing
  23. oil wrestling
  24. duck hunting
  25. Olympic binge watching
  26. Equestrian Pole Vault
  27. Roundball Rock (the old NBA on NBC theme, since NBC used it this year)
  28. Swimming Hurdles
  29. Algae Swimming
  30. Window Climbing
  31. Jungle Gym
  32. Gymnastics - Perpendicular Bars
  33. Simon Says
  34. Slip-n-Slide
  35. full contact kayak
  36. shot put softball
  37. laser tag
  38. backwards running
  39. sledding (kids on a snow day)
  40. corn maze
  41. limbo
  42. running with scissors
  43. unsynchronized swimming (actually came from @Olympics https://twitter.com/Olympics/status/766380203320958976)
  44. nude barbed wire vaulting (a Johnny Carson joke)

Thursday, May 12, 2016

What's Next For The Muppets

So The Muppets was cancelled by ABC today (basically not picked up for next season). Unless another network or streaming service (I heard Netflix might be interested) comes through, they're one-and-done. The question rolling around in my head for the past few hours, and then posed on twitter, was what's next for them?

I don't think it's as easy to answer that question as it was the last two times they had TV shows cancelled. The end of the original Muppet Show run coincided with more Muppet movies (followed by some quiet time while Jim Henson and team worked on other projects). When Muppets Tonight was cancelled 20 years ago, they did return for another film, keeping on some of the new characters. Then they had another fairly quiet period as ownership of the franchise changed hands a few times.

This time, it's different. This TV show came on the success of 2 movies and a good number of viral videos. The TV show came out of nowhere just over a year ago at a time when we were thinking what could be next (about a year after their last movie came out). It seemed like a perfect opportunity to get back on TV. But the TV show made mistakes and wasn't given enough time to have it all fixed.

So is the brand now damaged? If they do come back into TV or film or videos or whatever, is everything from the TV show just gone, like it was a dream? Or is that the new Muppets reality and they have to work from that starting point? On social media, they were working in the reality of the TV series and the show-within-the-show (Up Late With Miss Piggy) and the alternate character arcs created for the series (Kermit and Piggy broken up, a really annoying Scooter character, Gonzo and Camilla broken up and now back together, Piggy being the villain for a period of time, Uncle Deadly's new role, and just other Muppet characters basically working in the office).

These were things I never liked about that TV show, and though some weren't as bad as others, I thought they led to the downfall of a show with established characters basically playing in the paradigm of a stale format (mockumentary) putting them in a new place (they're known for a show, so they made another one).

Anyway, what's next? The show could get picked up by Netflix, we could binge watch it (it could be a year from now to get that deal done, produce the episodes, and let it simmer and promote over there). ABC Family picked up Muppets Tonight from ABC. ABC Family is now Freeform (still owned by ABC), and maybe The Muppets moves there. ABC owns the franchise, so the other TV networks are out. I don't see them landing at ESPN SportsCenter. I'm not sure there's another film idea out there (though if you follow the arc, a musical like Muppets Take Manhattan should be the next in line). I think they can remake a film like they did with The Wizard of Oz. But I don't think these things were on the horizon before the TV show happened, and I don't think they're out there now. An actual musical. Interesting, but very tough to produce, given how these characters operate. Sporadic TV specials like Muppet Show Live? I'm just throwing out ideas of things I'd watch.

And are the events of this TV show (and social media presence) forgotten in whatever's next for them, or is this now where they are in life? While the TV show was airing, there were a few viral videos released. Those were better than anything they did on TV in the past year. They also didn't live in the reality of the TV show (for instance, they were fun and we saw characters and relationships missing from TV). But they might have been done before the TV show.

I'd like to see this whole TV show treated like a bad dream. I even suggested it as a way to help fix the show. I certainly would like to see that now that they're gone. Since they've had the sting of being cancelled, I think the franchise as a whole needs to work their way back up. Go back to the internet and make more music videos and short Muppet-show-like sketches. And maybe make that into a 13 week TV show in a couple years. Stay away from new films for the time being and keep a low profile.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

It's Time to Fix The Muppets

I posted this in response to Alan Sepinwall's review of the revamped "The Muppets." TV series.

I think they need to scrap what they have and go back to what works. Their brand has some cachet with the network and viewers, which is why they got on the schedule so fast after the pitch reel and why they haven't been cancelled. But this format isn't working. It's like taking the cast/characters from Friends and sticking them in other roles on another show. It looks odd and out of place. Not saying the Muppets characters are typecast in their roles, but they don't work playing something else. They've proven that on a weekly basis since September.

The ideal show would have been the old Muppet Show, but with this new twist of being more adult and showing more behind the scenes.

They might still be able to get there, but time is running out (and how many more times will The Muppets get a new TV show). I say, scrap the current format, and transition to a new show by pulling the same trick that Bob Newhart's second show did in its final scene - hit Kermit in the head with a golf ball (or in true Muppet style, Lew Zeland's boomerang fish or Gonzo juggling bowling pins or something like that) so he gets knocked out, and he wakes up in his backstage spot in the old Muppet Show theater with Miss Piggy and nephew Robin the Frog by his side telling about this awful dream while Scooter is coming out and saying "15 seconds to curtain, Kermit". The camera pans out to show Walter, Gonzo & Camilla, Fozzie, Rowlf, Piggy & Robin, Pepe & Rizzo and the old gang standing over looking concerned.


It's time to fix the Muppets.
It's time to get things right.
It's time to bring them back to the Muppet Show tonight!